Sexy man holding flogging whip near buttocks of sensual woman in mask on bed isolated on black

A Beginner’s Guide to the Influence Play

 Exploring the concept of gently dragging a whip across your partner's skin, followed by a quick flick of the wrist, can certainly evoke a feeling of seduction and excitement. However, it's understandable if the prospect feels a little daunting.

But Don't be afraid!

In this comprehensive guide, we’ll dive into the essentials of buying your first flogger or BDSM whip and clarify the differences between the two. Additionally, I will guide you through the initial steps of using a flogger and highlight important safety practices to ensure a pleasant and safe experience.

What is the difference between Whip and a Flogger?

In the world of kink and BDSM, whips and whippers are both tools for impact play, but they have different characteristics. While they are sometimes used interchangeably during the purchasing process, there are some key differences:


Typically have more falls (or "tails") and are shorter, providing versatility in use. They are often recommended for beginners exploring impact play.


In contrast, a whip usually only falls once and may be larger or longer than a whipper. They are more suitable for more experienced users in the BDSM community.

Thuddy vs Sting-y Impacts

In the world of impact play, we often categorize sensations as "roaring" or "stingy" to describe how they feel on the skin and body.

A "thump" impact is typically caused by a wider drop impacting a wider area, creating a deep, resonant feeling similar to a hard thump.

In contrast, the "tingling" sensation is produced by a thinner, stiffer drop, resulting in a sharper, more intense stinging sensation rather than a deep impact.

For example, imagine the difference between being hit with a rolled-up newspaper (a hard hit) and being whipped with a dish towel (a stingy blow). The contrast is obvious.

Different Ways to Use Whips and Floggers

When using whips and whippings, the precision of the blow is crucial.

Ideally, target the fleshy areas of the body. Many people opt for the buttocks, but the thighs also offer a suitable option.

Please use caution when venturing into other areas. For areas such as calves, chest, arms, genitals, ribs, and back, gentle and delicate caressing is enough.

Be extremely careful with advanced whips and avoid these delicate areas entirely.

Certain areas need to be avoided entirely: face, hands, feet, kidney area, spine, and tailbone.

Also, avoid any healing skin as it is very sensitive.

Prevent the whip from wrapping around your body when using it. This can result in a painful, accelerated fall that is an unwelcome surprise for the recipient.

Make sure to maintain an appropriate distance from your partner and perfect your stroke technique to minimize this risk.

Practice accuracy by tapping on a soft, textured surface, such as a towel-wrapped pillow or couch. This helps you prepare for your stroke without causing unexpected discomfort.

How to get started with influencer gaming?

Sensual woman holding handcuffs near boyfriend with flogging whip on blurred background

If you're new to the influence game, be sure to start slow and have open communication with your partner.

Start by stroking your body gently and for long periods of time to warm up and get used to the sensation. This helps build anticipation and comfort.

Once you both feel comfortable, use a beginner-friendly flogger to gradually add gentle strokes to areas such as your buttocks. Pause at least 3 seconds between each stroke to allow the recipient to assess their comfort level.

As you gain confidence and skills, consider trying:

- Gradually increase the intensity of your strokes while focusing on fleshy areas of the body.

- Explore different types of whipping or caning to vary the sensation according to your partner's preference.

- Try looping strokes, where each stroke flows seamlessly into the next.

- Combined with bondage or sensory deprivation to increase excitement and anticipation.

For more guidance and inspiration, you may want to explore the educational resources or instructional videos on

Safety and aftercare

Safety is paramount when exploring pounding play, just like any other kink activity. Before engaging in caning or flogging, it is crucial to ensure mutual consent and open communication between partners. Have a thorough discussion about boundaries, preferences, and any concerns you may have.

Establishing a safeword or prompt is critical to ensuring a safe and consensual experience. This enables recipients to clearly communicate their limitations and immediately cease activity if necessary. Consider using a safe word that is unique and easily identifiable, such as "broccoli," to avoid confusion with role-play scenarios. Alternatively, utilize a traffic light system to give the victim greater control over the intensity of the scene.

Prioritize aftercare to address physical and emotional needs. This includes applying soothing lotion to the skin, cuddling, and staying hydrated with food and drink. Regular check-ins with each other are also crucial to ensuring a comfortable and satisfying experience for both parties.

Beginner's Buying Guide

For those new to whipping, consider the following tips during your search:

  1. Number of falls: The whipper should aim for 20 to 30 falls. More may prove to be too cumbersome, while less may feel too demanding.
  1. Material: Choose soft materials such as suede, which are soft to the touch and suitable for warm-ups and stronger impacts. Soft leather or faux leather is also flexible and suitable for beginners.
  1. Weight: Choose a whipper that is light to medium weight. Most product descriptions will specify this information.
  1. Length: Aim for a length between 18 and 24 inches. This range allows for close, intimate flogging while giving you greater control over aim and intensity.
  1. ADDITIONAL FEATURES: Look for floggers with handle loops. This feature prevents accidental slips during the swing, ensuring greater safety and control during play.
Back to blog