Sexy couple touching each other in bed talking dirty words

How to Say Dirty Words Without Feeling Embarrassed?


Whether you're physically separated from your partner, making a new connection online, or just trying to spice up your family sex life, now is a great time to improve your dirty talking skills.


Having sexy conversations can be as simple as expressing desire with phrases like "I want X so bad for your Y." However, it goes beyond that – swearing can be a uniquely personal experience. While many may have tried scripts inspired by adult content, the real thrill comes in bringing out your personality. Talking about sex becomes more exciting when it's a personal expression of your desires rather than following a generic script of "horny sex person."



Revitalizing your sex conversations often requires weaving an engaging narrative, allowing the conversation to evolve, incorporating space for experimentation, and setting clear boundaries. The beauty lies in imperfection, making it more interesting and personal. Whether in person, through sexting, or over the phone/video call, initiating this intimate conversation requires asking the following questions: Where do you want to start? What are your preferences? How does consent work? Overcoming shyness and having great conversations is all about exploring and embracing unique aspects to make them your own - ultimately, it's one of the sexiest things you can experience.


1. Preparation Work


Start with some self-reflection.


Take some personal time to understand your wishes before discussing it with others. What does truly satisfying sex look like to you? State it in your own words. Consider elements like silliness, innuendo, or romance in your ideal dialogue. This self-awareness becomes your road map, enabling you to communicate effectively with your partners. Sharing this roadmap can help your partner see and treat you according to your desires. It lays the foundation for communication that both parties feel comfortable with.

A sexy couple role play and seduce each other

2. Communication Preferences


When you're ready to discuss it with your partner, share specific markers or topics about your preferences. For example:


"I appreciate the tenderness when someone shares something hot with me."

"I like to be told what to do in a bossy way, so feel free to guide me."

“I like a lot of build-up and teasing, with subtlety and tension being my favorites.”


By thinking about and trying out your lines in private, you can effectively guide your partner in future oral sexual encounters. Guide them with this information, use language you know resonates with you, and show them how you want to be perceived and aroused.


For those who may be shy or worried about feeling flustered, consider writing down words and phrases ahead of time for reference. Acknowledge that dirty talk doesn't always flow effortlessly, and having a mental or written cheat sheet doesn't affect spontaneity or authenticity.


3. Write down your wishes


Creating an exciting script beforehand is like becoming the author of your own erotic novel. Writing this script allows you to incorporate descriptors that match the way you talk or think on a daily basis, or delve into a fantasy you'd like to explore with a partner.


As if you were writing a story, write lines for the characters involved. Define roles, identify characters and set the scene. Think of these lines as a backup or baseline, especially if you're initially feeling shy or unsure of where to start, continue, or end a conversation with your partner. This script serves as a guiding framework to make it easier for you to navigate the dirty talk of the moment.


4. Open Communication


Make sure to maintain open communication throughout the conversation. Say, for example, "Okay, I like where this is going." Follow up with a quick check like, "How do you feel about sexting?"


As the conversation progresses, there may come a time when you want to switch gears. In this case, seek your partner's approval by asking questions like, "Are you okay with this direction?" Once you have permission, you can drill down to more specific desires, for example, asking: "If you're interested too, can I tell you how oral sex turns me on?"


Not only does a check-in ensure that both parties agree, it also helps alleviate any feelings of uncertainty or shyness, creating a more comfortable environment for clear discussions.


5. Timing is important


Part of getting consent involves making sure the timing is right. Always ask before starting a conversation whether the time is appropriate, unless there is a predetermined understanding. It's important to consider not only your partner's willingness to talk dirty, but also their mental capacity and circumstances. Especially in the current pandemic situation, in-person gatherings are less frequent, require more planning, and people's abilities may be limited. As attractive as virtual foreplay or sex is, the social energy is not enough to handle virtual foreplay or sex.


Three express wishes confidently


  1. Use the "Yes, No or Maybe?" alignment to turn on:

     Start by asking the question: "Would you like me to send you a vibrator similar to mine so we can masturbate together? Yes, no, or maybe?" This approach allows both parties to clarify boundaries, simplify the conversation, and keep Conversations become more comfortable and direct.


  1. Show and say your wishes:

     Once you share your preferences, consider whether you can send explicit content like porn videos or GIFs that match your shared interests. Mutual agreement is crucial and provides the basis for mutual sharing. Make it clear that the exchange is welcome if everyone involved feels comfortable.


  1. Confidently express what you want:

Overcome any initial insecurities by expressing your desires with confidence. I recommend owning your desires and seeking out how the other person feels about them. This method is particularly effective when swearing via text message or phone call in the absence of visual cues.


  1. Set expectations for face-to-face interactions directly:

     Clearly outline what you want to happen in person and invite others to do the same. Express your wishes directly and authentically to create a personalized and genuine conversation. Confidence in pursuing your own desires encourages the other person to do the same, promoting uniquely satisfying conversations.

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