Sexy couple in bed

Want better orgasms?


While orgasms are undeniably amazing, achieving them can sometimes be elusive and frustrating. Whether you've never experienced an orgasm, face challenges during partnered sex, or have recently encountered difficulty, the journey to orgasm takes time, patience, and effort.


It's important to realize that struggling to reach orgasm doesn't mean you're broken or sexually frigid. A variety of factors, including stress, anxiety, fatigue, hormonal fluctuations, relationship issues, medications or medical conditions, can make it difficult to achieve orgasm. Additionally, individual differences in sexual responses and preferences play an important role.


Stress and shame often exacerbate these challenges, making it difficult to relax and fully enjoy pleasure. Learning how to orgasm involves a complex interplay of physical, psychological and social factors. Don’t worry, though—we’re here to provide you with tips, tricks, and advice to make your orgasmic journey a pleasurable and empowering experience. Cheers to more pleasure and more orgasms!

1. Understand the clitoris

Understanding the true function of the clitoris is crucial to improving your chances of reaching orgasm. Studies show that more than 40% of vaginal patients require clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm.


Comparing sex without clitoral stimulation to never touching the glans penis during intercourse emphasizes that stimulation of the vaginal shaft alone may be pleasurable but is unlikely to lead to orgasm. Even during penetrative intercourse, especially in the missionary position, where there may not appear to be direct clitoral stimulation, the grinding of the pelvic bones can contribute to sexual arousal.


However, not all clitoral stimulation is the same. During penetrative intercourse, a larger penis or dildo may limit the depth of penetration, reduce the chance of pelvic friction, and make reaching orgasm more challenging. In this case, I recommends adding a vibrator, either handheld or in the form of a partner-worn vibrating ring, to ensure simultaneous stimulation of the clitoris during penetration without disruption.


2. Stop trying to orgasm


Counterintuitively, stopping trying to reach orgasm can actually increase the likelihood of experiencing one. Focusing too much on reaching orgasm can create tension, hinder relaxation, and make climaxing more difficult. I recommend not being goal oriented and instead focusing on achieving a general feeling of happiness. This shift in approach can help reduce the fear and anxiety associated with orgasm, potentially promoting more satisfying orgasms.

3. Share with your partner

By sharing the burden of your to-do list with your partner, you can relieve stress (a big inhibitor to orgasm). Stressors such as work, family problems, strained relationships, or an overburdened workload may hinder your ability to orgasm. Especially in heterosexual relationships, women tend to bear most of the household responsibilities. To relieve some stress, consider delegating tasks to your partner or discussing alternative ways for them to support you. By reducing stressors, you create an environment that is more conducive to experiencing orgasm.


4. Don’t ignore the vulva

Explore the full range of your genitals for a more satisfying experience. While touching the outer lips of the vulva or labia majora may not directly lead to orgasm, taking the time to tease and stimulate the area can enhance overall pleasure. I recommend a teasing technique where you have your partner rub the sides of the inner and outer lips with their index and middle fingers in a "V" shape. If direct stimulation of your clitoris is too sensitive, consider using a clitoral hood for a more pleasurable experience. Experiment with different feels to find what feels best and incorporate it into your co-op play.

5. Develop body awareness

Enhance your orgasmic experience by cultivating body awareness. Take your attention away from your thoughts and bring your attention back to the sensations in your body. It is recommended to regularly turn your attention to pleasant sensations and allow yourself to fully enjoy them. By actively paying attention and paying attention to the sensations in your body, you can enhance the overall experience and bring you closer to orgasm.

6. Add erotic color

For many people, mechanics are only half the story if their partner is going to bring them to orgasm. This communication must also contain some erotic content, which can be called "the flow of desire communicated between two people."

Being explicit about your preferences for where you want to be touched can help with erotica. If you don't like having your nipples squeezed, gently give your partner some feedback on what you want. Tell them how hot it will be if they touch around or under your breasts, or if they use their tongue instead of their fingers. This erotic intimacy will help keep you present.

Additionally, believe in your own sexual attractiveness and understand that your partner finds you attractive. Accepting yourself and recognizing what feels sexy in the moment can help lead to a more fulfilling sexual experience. Remember, the journey away from your insecurities is ongoing and your partner actually finds you sexy. This mindset will get you closer to experiencing a satisfying orgasm.

Sexy couple role playing

7. Notice the tension and let it pass

As we move toward orgasm, we often begin to tense up physically. We tense, tense, tense, trying to get to that top. But says all that tension makes climaxing pretty difficult. Notice this tension and begin to "lighten your touch, move your hips, and sigh through your mouth." “When you consciously relax your body and breath, energy flows more easily.

8. Play sex games

If you're sitting there trying to bring yourself to orgasm, you're probably putting too much pressure on the whole thing. A fun way to take a step back is to simply have fun and have fun connecting with your partner. Of course, playing sexy games will turn you on because they may involve stripping naked or licking body parts, but they also get you talking, which is important for sexual arousal and orgasm.

  I emphasize that communication is a form of seduction and sets the stage for more meaningful and enjoyable sex. Consider trying a variety of sex games, from real sex board games to classics like Dirty Truth or Dare, to build sexual tension and enhance your journey to orgasm.


Adding a little mental stimulation to the equation can help enhance physical stimulation, which is why fantasizing on your own or with a partner is recommended. Fantasizing is also an effective way to take your mind off other stressors or any other anxieties you may be experiencing, and, for the record, it's okay to fantasize about someone other than the person you're having sex with. (Perhaps you just need to keep this information, though.)

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