What do Your Sex Dreams Mean?

What do Your Sex Dreams Mean?

In dreams, unexpected things are often the norm. Imagine finding yourself on a steamy date, tangled in the sheets with a mysterious stranger. But as the haze of the dream fades, the identity of this character becomes clear—he is none other than your third-grade math teacher.

Yes, this is a sex dream, and before you jump to conclusions about your subconscious desires, consider this: Such dreams are very common. Research from the University of Montreal shows that about 8% of our nightly reveries involve some form of sexual activity, with women experiencing it just as often as men. Sexual content in dreams ranges from intercourse to intimate courtship, kissing, fantasies and self-gratification.

However, interpreting the meaning of these dreams remains a puzzle for science. While they give us a tantalizing glimpse into the subconscious, interpreting them literally may defeat the purpose. Just because your boss, best friend, or young Idris Elba graces your nightly adventures doesn't necessarily reflect your real-world desires. Dreams seem to have a language of their own, a language that is difficult to translate.

Ian Wallace, author of The Top 100 Dreams: The Dreams We All Have and What They Really Mean, believes that all dreams, including those related to sex, can Connect with all aspects of our waking lives. According to Wallace, each character in a dream represents an aspect of our own personality.

When someone appears in a sex dream, there is not necessarily a real desire for intimacy with that person. Instead, they may embody qualities that we internally recognize but may not yet fully embrace, such as leadership, kindness, or style. Exhibiting these traits requires vulnerability and exposure, just like intimacy in a sexual encounter, which is why our subconscious may translate these feelings into such intimate actions in dreams.

What does it mean when you have a sex dream?

While some sex dreams may fulfill wishes that are unattainable in reality, they often delve deeply into reflecting our personal desires and anxieties. These insights from dream experts reveal the complexity of sex dreams, showing that they often serve as a mirror of our inner selves rather than a direct reflection of our waking desires.


This is common when your sex dreams feature your boss. However, before you start rethinking your professional interactions, it's important to note that dreaming about being intimate with your boss may not mean those one-on-one meetings need to be canceled in reality. While there may be a level of sexual attraction involved, the dream may actually reflect your subconscious awareness of your own decision-making and leadership abilities. In other words, this dream may be emphasizing your potential to take charge and make big choices.

So instead of feeling embarrassed about this dream, consider scheduling a meeting with your boss (albeit a professional one) to discuss your future with the company. This dream can inspire you to explore your ambitions and assert your leadership skills along your career path.


You may find yourself in an unexpected scenario where a friend plays a starring role in your sexual dreams. Before you start questioning your own sanity or the dynamic of your friendship, consider this: This situation may simply be a reflection of qualities you admire or recognize in yourself.

Even if your friend doesn't meet traditional criteria for attractiveness, your subconscious may be attracted to certain aspects of their personality or talents. For example, maybe they have great karaoke skills, or display qualities like confidence or intelligence that you admire or want to develop within yourself.

Your Crush

Dreaming about your crush may seem like a natural extension of your feelings, but the reasons behind these dreams may not be as simple as you think. Ian Wallace believes that although it is easy to think that these dreams indicate a desire for physical intimacy, they often mean a deeper attraction to the person's emotional or spiritual qualities.

Essentially, your subconscious mind may be attracted to aspects of your crush's personality that resonate deeply with you, beyond just physical attraction. Therefore, these dreams don't just focus on the physical aspects, but may also reflect your admiration for qualities such as kindness, intelligence, or empathy.

A sexy beauty lies on a white bed


It's very common for celebrities to appear in our sexual dreams, second only to the boss in frequency. Additionally, a study from the University of Montreal found that women are twice as likely as men to indulge in nighttime fantasies involving celebrities. But before you start planning a red carpet date with Selena Gomez or Bradley Cooper, consider this: Your subconscious might just be acknowledging a talent or quality you share with the celebrity.

Essentially, the appeal of these dream scenarios may lie in more than just physical attraction, but in recognizing shared traits or skills between you and the famous person. So while the idea of a passionate encounter with a celebrity may seem exciting, it's more likely to be your brain's way of emphasizing shared traits than a literal desire for romance.

Your ex

You believe you are far away from the person who broke your heart, only to find them reappearing naked in your dreams. Why does our heart put us through such torture? If your ex-lover appears in your dream, this may indicate that you have unintentionally fallen back into negative patterns from past relationships. Essentially, these sex dreams can serve as a warning sign, urging you to take a closer look at your current behavior and potentially break out of the unhealthy cycle.

Discovering that your partner has been unfaithful in your dreams may stir up feelings of insecurity and doubt, but before jumping to conclusions about fidelity in real life, consider this: Such dreams often say more about yourself of insecurity, rather than actual insecurity. Relationship dynamics.

Dreaming about your partner cheating on you

Dreaming about your partner being unfaithful may mean losing confidence in your own abilities or attractiveness. Rather than immediately assuming the worst about your relationship, focus on building up your confidence. By cultivating your self-confidence, you may find yourself reclaiming the starring role in your dreams, protected from unwanted interlopers.


When people find themselves trapped in sex dreams involving strangers, the strangers often wear masks or have no discernible faces. But who is this mysterious intruder? It's likely that your subconscious is prompting you to reveal a talent or ability that you've been hiding from yourself and others.

Additionally, according to Gillian Holloway's Dream Interpretation website, these dreams can also mean a deep-seated desire for specific qualities in a partner—whether those are qualities you already possess or are still in your romantic relationship. Quality sought.

In essence, dreams about meeting strangers often remind you to explore hidden aspects of yourself and your desire for relationships, whether within yourself or in the process of finding a partner.

Family member

Dreaming about having sex with a family member may send shivers down your spine, but this is completely normal. Surprisingly, these dreams do not necessarily represent forbidden desires, but often stem from admiration or recognition of certain characteristics of a relative.

If you have a sibling, parent, or even great-uncle who has qualities that resonate with you or that you admire, Wallace suggests you might find yourself caught up in a dream that blurs family lines. However, it is important to stress that these dreams are symbolic, not literal, and there is no need to panic or read too deeply into them.

Rather than focusing on the specific content of the dream, consider it an opportunity for self-reflection. By exploring the qualities that attract you to your dream family, you may gain a deeper understanding of your own personality and desires, ultimately understanding yourself better.

Want to learn more about sex or sex toys? Check out our online store.

Back to blog