A sexy couple in bed, the man dripping wax on her partner's back

What You Need to Know about Candle Games



There are many ways to spice things up in the bedroom, from introducing oral sex toys to exploring light bondage with BDSM toys. However, when it comes to heating things up in a more intense and real way, the wax show takes center stage. Now, however, curiosity about the candle game is growing. According to research, approximately 34% of couples have at least one partner who expresses interest in wax play. If you find yourself in this category, you've come to the right page.



Before delving into best practices for wax play, it’s crucial to determine what wax play is. Broadly speaking, wax play involves the act of dripping or sprinkling hot (or warm) candle wax onto yourself or a partner for fun. While often associated with BDSM, it is not necessarily limited to that context. Hot wax can be an intimidating and highly stimulating element of play, and BDSM often eroticizes the experience.


There's the pleasure of doing something slightly dangerous and the anticipation of wax touching the skin, triggering sexual arousal. This experience goes beyond stimulating touch, enhancing pleasure and cultivating a sense of presence in the moment. Newcomers should feel free to experiment and claim that sexual exploration with a partner can foster intimacy through shared experiences and the trust and respect involved in trying new things. Sounds exciting to us!



While candle play may seem spontaneous and you may improvise on a whim with your favorite candle, the reality is very different. To ensure that candle play is as safe and enjoyable as possible, there are some basic considerations to keep in mind. If you're intrigued by the idea of incorporating fire and dripping hot wax into your intimate moments, here are some tips and tricks from sex experts to guide you on this sensual journey.


1. Choose candle ingredients that are safe for your body:

(1). Soy: Considered the safest option, soy candles cool quickly upon contact, reducing the risk of skin irritation,

(2). Paraffin: Paraffin wax candles burn at a higher temperature than soy candles, making them ideal for those looking for a more intense, and potentially more painful, wax play experience.


Candle Ingredients to Avoid

(1). Beeswax: Avoid beeswax candles as they can cause skin burns. Avoid any candles that don't clearly list ingredients.

(2). Colorants or dyes: Do not use candles with colorants or dyes. These additives can change the melting point and may cause unintended combustion.


2. Establish a Clear Safe Word

Before we dive into the intimate world of candlelight, it's important to realize that wax is hot and can cause burns and serious damage if not handled properly. This is essentially playing with fire, so precautions are crucial. Establish clear boundaries before you begin. This may involve clear communication, such as "I want you to put wax on my (insertion part), but not on my (insertion part)."


It is recommended to include a safe word, even if candle play is not part of a traditional BDSM scene. The goal is to ensure a pleasant experience, not an ordeal (unless this is a mutual desire). Choose a word that is easy for you and your partner to remember, such as "pineapple" or "red," and light that match.


3. Keep a bucket of warm water nearby to prevent burns.

Before you enjoy the fiery temptations of candle play, it's important to recognize the potential dangers that come with bringing hot wax and fire into your bedroom. To prepare, keep a bucket of warm water handy. If you suffer an accidental burn, avoid using cold water as it may shock the system and worsen the burn. If a burn occurs, cool the area with warm water or a cool (not cold) dressing and seek appropriate treatment.

4. Establish a safe play area away from flammable materials.

Fire is unpredictable and creating the right environment is crucial whenever dealing with an open flame. Avoid keeping flammable items such as paper towels, curtains or hair products nearby. Additionally, it is recommended to purchase a fire extinguisher for added safety. Better safe than sorry! Be aware of underwear, sheets, and curtains that are left lying around during hot times as they may create additional fire hazards.

5. Be careful with candles in glass containers; use an electric candle warmer.

As you begin your wax adventure, light the candle and let it melt safely in the designated area. Ideally, you want the candle to melt evenly and avoid tunneling, similar to burning a regular candle.


When you're ready to start dripping wax, it's crucial to blow out the flames ahead of time to minimize the risk of burns or fire. Failure to do so may result in the flame contacting the glass as you tilt the candle, rapidly heating the glass and causing burns and possibly shattering. This is certainly not the result we want. For a safer alternative and to avoid the "tunneling" effect, consider an electric candle warmer.


6.Prepare your surroundings in advance for easy cleanup.

Let's be honest, cleaning wax can be a challenge, so taking some precautions before playing can save you headaches later. I recommend laying down disposable sheets or using puppy pads. Also, for extra protection, place an old sheet over the comforter to avoid stains.

7. Prepare your body for cleansing.

Once the wax cools and hardens, it can be very painful to remove from areas with body hair. I advise against applying wax to hairy areas, or suggest removing hair beforehand – after all, it’s called waxing for a reason. While shaving is an option and the skin can be prepped with oil, baby oil is particularly effective at removing wax, and it provides the opportunity for a sensual warm-up massage. When applying the oil, be careful to avoid the face, any open wounds, genitals, and hair (if possible). Starting from the back or torso is a safe place to start.


8. Let the candle burn for about 20 to 30 minutes and test the wax on yourself first.

Before waxing your partner, it's crucial to test it on yourself. Mistress couples emphasize the importance of physically empathizing with the feelings your partner is experiencing. Remember, your pain tolerance may differ from your partner's, so open communication is always crucial.

9. Start waxing on less sensitive areas.

Once you've confirmed that the wax is at the right temperature, it's recommended that you first apply the wax to less sensitive areas of your partner's body, such as arms and back. Gradually move to more sensitive areas, such as the inner thighs, and keep checking in with your partner as you explore new areas. It is important not to pour wax on your head, face, genitals, or inside your body.


The traces of candle dripping on the butt form a beautiful line


10. Control splashing water by adjusting the pouring height.

To prevent any accidental splashing, communicate with your partner about their desired heat level. Adjust the distance between the candle and your skin - moving it farther away gives the wax more time to cool before contact, while moving it closer increases the intensity. Unless you're willing to risk burns, avoid getting closer than six inches to your skin. The real danger is that a piece of hot wax (especially if it's on fire) can land on your skin. It is crucial to proceed slowly, remain vigilant, and use the correct materials.

11. Test pour time.

Customize the experience by experimenting with pour times. Some people find a slow drip to be expected, while others may prefer a faster rate. If you want more of a splash when you pour your tea, let the candle sit and melt for a while. To control the temperature of the wax while increasing the volume of the melted wax, place the candle in a glass jar and place it in a water bath in the pot. This method provides more wax without subjecting it to high temperatures.

12. Explore shapes and patterns.

You can get creative and drizzle wax on your partner's back to create different feelings and patterns. Don't limit yourself to simply pouring wax; you can also use a paintbrush or your fingers to add an artistic touch to the experience.

13. Continue playing with the wax once it has cooled.

The fun doesn't end once the wax hardens on your partner. Run ice cubes over still warm wax or tap hardened wax for extra feel and pleasure.


14. Do you like adventure? Incorporate other BDSM elements.

For those who want to extend their play time, consider using a whip to remove hardened wax. In BDSM scenes, it is common to use a whip to remove wax, holding on to it wherever it is until it is completely gone. Make sure you and your partner are both comfortable with breast, vaginal or penis whipping before trying this. Clear communication is crucial, so discuss your wishes ahead of time and make sure everyone is on the same page.


To enhance the experience, eye masks are introduced. Eliminating the visual sensation will heighten anticipation and allow your partner to focus more on physical sensations. Try temperature play by blowing on cold wax to give your partner goosebumps, or use ice cubes to bring about happy shivers.

15. Prioritize aftercare.

Aftercare is crucial when engaging in activities such as BDSM. The importance of positive aftercare, such as hugs, words of affirmation, comfort, offering water, or hugs. For waxing experiences in particular, end with a soothing massage with aloe vera or sunburn cream to soothe sensitive skin, making it possible to move on to the next stage of the sexual encounter.


16. When finished, use a plastic card or comb to remove the hardened wax.

Assuming you've avoided any hair, or the pre-applied baby oil will help remove the hardened wax, it's recommended to use a plastic card (not your actual credit card, please) or a comb to remove any remaining wax. Now that you're done - voila, you're done!

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